Evangelion: Bitter Testament
by Shizumaru
Summary: An alt-universe setting, starting at the beginning of the series.
1. The Advent of Rage

This assumes definite knowledge of the action and events of  
Evangelion. There are some elements of the manga within.  
  
************************************************  
An Oddzilla Productions Fanfic, by Andrew Huang  
Evangelion: Bitter Testament  
Based on Neon Genesis Evangelion, c. Gainax Studios and ADVision.  
************************************************  
  
Vengeance is mine; I shall repay. --Book of Deuteronomy  
  
Chapter 1: The Advent of Rage  
  
Odd, how they ran off like that. At least they undid the handcuffs  
before disappearing.  
  
Izaki Shinji stood on a streetcorner, rubbing his wrists idly, where he  
was to be picked up by one Katsuragi Misato. The NERV officers who had  
been flanking him ever since he left the detention center in Old Kyoto had  
just disappeared after being paged.  
  
He looked at the photo in the folder they had given him before  
departing, and pushed down the small surge of hormones that arose (no need  
for such a meaningless adolescent reaction), blinking a few times. No bad  
ID mug shot, this one. "Look at this" had been scrawled on it, pointing to  
her, ah, assets. Not that Shinji really needed this photo to identify  
Captain Katsuragi; he had already seen that bad ID mug shot in that NERV  
database....  
  
Loud klaxons sounded suddenly, jolting the boy out of his reverie. "Take  
shelter?" Shinji asked aloud, hearing the announcement that came along  
with it. Then, he saw it.  
  
Huge, mostly black, and ugly. Aircraft popped up from nowhere,  
surrounding it like gnats--and then getting swatted down like gnats, by  
this giant. Missiles and artillery opened up on it, without effect. The  
explosions sent huge rumbles through the area, knocking Shinji to his  
knees, and produced huge cracks in the sidewalk and building behind him.   
The thing moved, causing more destruction.  
  
Not once did Shinji take his eyes off the monster. He simply stared at  
it, eyes wide--but not in disbelief, nor fear.  
  
"Angel," he whispered. Then he picked up a chunk of concrete, and, with  
a cold glint in his eyes, threw it at the creature, for all the good that  
would do. It continued moving, oblivious to the boy in its path. Shinji  
picked up another fragment of debris, but before he could throw it, a blue  
car screeched to a halt in front of him. The door popped open, revealing--  
"Captain Katsuragi?"  
  
"Get in! Quickly!" Arrested in mid-throw, right arm cocked behind him,  
Shinji looked blankly at the Captain, then over to the Angel, and back to  
Misato. Finally, he let the chunk fall to the ground without a word, and  
jumped in. He had barely closed the door when the car took off. "Sorry I  
was late. I think you can guess why, heh heh."  
  
He turned to Misato and looked at her levelly. "What are they planning  
to do with the Angel?"  
  
"Ah...I see you've really done your research. Hold on."  
  
They drove a few minutes more, the sounds of carnage slowly fading  
behind them. Shinji turned around in his seat, straining against the belt,  
to watch the battle, if it could really be called such a thing. Finally,  
some distance out from where they had started, they stopped by the  
roadside. Pulling out a pair of binoculars, Misato stepped out of the car,  
followed by Shinji. She watched for a moment. "Aircraft pulling away...  
DAMN! N2 mine! Get DOWN!"  
  
*BOOOOOOOM*  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"It's still standing!?"  
  
"You can see for yourself, General."  
  
"Dear God...."  
  
"Well, General?"  
  
"All right. Ikari, do what you will. Do what you can."  
  
"Of course."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"Captain--"  
  
"Just call me Misato."  
  
The two were now driving again, having somehow survived the explosion.  
The car was going as fast as it could, which wasn't very.  
  
"Misato-san, the Angel was still standing. What will they be doing  
now?"  
  
"You'll find out soon." She glanced at the handbook sitting closed on  
Shinji's lap. "Aren't you going to read that?"  
  
"I've seen it all already, remember?"  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
They continued in silence. Despite his earlier words, Shinji flipped  
through the manual to pass the time. He smiled to himself secretly; though  
he had been the one arrested for hacking into the database, he wasn't the  
one who had really done so. He hadn't the skills for such a thing. But he  
had an acquaintance who was willing to supply him with a script that would  
do it for the right sum and a reassurance that he wouldn't be nailed for  
it. Of course not. Shinji took the blame, was taken in by NERV. Just as  
according to plan. Because then they made him an offer that he simply  
couldn't turn down.  
  
After a short while, they arrived at a rail depot. Misato parked her car  
on one of the platforms, which began to roll down the tracks, into the  
ground. After a few moments of darkness, they burst out into--  
  
"The Geofront."  
  
"Yes." Damn it, what does this kid not know? He couldn't have read all  
those files, could he?  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"They've arrived."  
  
"Excellent, Fuyutsuki. Ah, send Ritsuko to meet them. You know how the  
Captain is, sometimes. We do not have that much time."  
  
"Of course."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"We were through here already."  
  
"Ah, heh, well, the transport systems are here to be used, so that's  
all right." Misato was kicking herself mentally. She should know where  
she was going by now. "All right, let's try these doors--"  
  
"Where have you been, Captain?"  
  
"Ritsuko!"  
  
"Doctor Akagi."  
  
"Ah--" The blonde woman blinked a few times, settling her gaze on the  
boy. He looked back at her steadily, unflinchingly. "And you are Izaki  
Shinji. Good. Come on."  
  
"Doctor, where are we going?"  
  
"You'll see. Come," she repeated.  
  
They followed her, through seemingly endless corridors. Shinji kept his  
attention on the surroundings, attempting to keep track of where he was.  
Finally, they arrived at a large dock, in a sea of purplish liquid. The  
three of them gathered into a rubber boat equipped with an outboard motor,  
and soon were skimming across the surface of the lake. Not your usual  
artificial subterranean feature, but Shinji didn't seem surprised. He did,  
however, appear mildly impatient. He drummed his fingers on the side of  
the boat even as he sat there with an apparently placid look on his face.  
  
"Ritsuko, what _is_ going on? Rei isn't going to be able to pilot the  
Unit, is she?" Ritsuko didn't answer. "And the Second isn't scheduled to  
be here for more than a month! What the hell is the Commander thinking?"  
Under her breath, Misato muttered, "We won't be able to use the  
Evangelions like this...."  
  
Shinji's ears picked up Misato's words. "What is the Evangelion? I  
never did find out."  
  
"We're here," interrupted Ritsuko, as she pulled up to another dock.  
She got off, and walked to a pair of large doors. "And you'll see  
shortly what Evangelion is. Be careful, it's dark in here. Lights,  
lights, where are those damn lights...ah."  
  
"What the...."  
  
"_That_ is Evangelion. Test type Unit 01." Ritsuko looked at the  
purple giant, almost...proud.   
  
"A giant robot?"  
  
"Not quite. She's more like an artificial human."  
  
"And that's what we'll use against the Angel?"  
  
"Yes," came a voice from a loudspeaker.  
  
The three turned towards the source of a sound, finding a bespectacled  
man, standing on a balcony. "Izaki Shinji, we will use it to destroy the  
Angel." Then, to the women, he continued, "We must launch."  
  
"What?" yelled Misato. "Commander--Rei isn't in any condition to pilot  
it. Where will we--" She looked at Shinji. "No...."  
  
"Yes. It is the only choice."  
  
"But Shinji just got here! It took Rei _months_ to synchronize--"  
  
"Wait." All eyes turned to Shinji. "You," he pointed to the Commander,  
"want me," he placed his hand on his chest, "to get in that," now  
pointing at Unit 01, "and fight the Angel?" he finished with a gesture   
upwards, at the surface of the city. Gendou nodded.  
  
Ritsuko spoke. "Shinji, I know it's hard, but--"  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
"--it's the only choice that we what did you say?"  
  
Slowly, Shinji smiled. It was not a nice smile. "I said...heh...I said  
I'll do it!" He clenched his fist, looking up at Gendou with a wild light  
shining in his eyes.  
  
A second later, a horrible screeching sound ripped through the air  
behind the three. They spun around to see that Unit 01's right arm had  
torn free of its rigging, sending waves splashing through the complex,  
and had closed its hand into a fist in the air.  
  
There was a hollow silence that followed, to be broken by Misato  
babbling, "That's...that's impossible...it's not activated, there's no  
plug in it...."  
  
Gendou smiled and nodded to Shinji. He was the one, all right. The  
commander turned off his microphone, and pressed another button on his  
console. The image of the Subcommander of NERV sprang up on a monitor.  
"Fuyutsuki, you can take Rei off standby. This has been easier than I had  
imagined."  
  
"Yes, Commander."  
  
Turning off that communication link, Gendou smiled faintly, watching  
Misato and Ritsuko hurry Shinji over to the ladder. The boy believed it  
all. The anger, the hate. The plan was perfect.... As he turned back  
toward the console, his eyes landed on the purple humanoid once more. He  
sighed softly. "I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't have approved," he  
murmured. Shaking his head, he walked over to his station, to oversee the  
impending operation.  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"Shinji, is everything all right?"  
  
"Yes. You could have warned me about the LCL, though. I do hate  
surprises."  
  
"Sorry. We're activating the link now." Misato turned to the  
technicians. "How is everything going?"  
  
"It's going fine. Synchronizing...error is within 0.3%! This is going  
to work!"  
  
"All right. Shinji, this will be a bit of a ride. Evangelion Unit  
01--LAUNCH!"  
  
The sudden burst of speed slammed Shinji back into his seat. He  
grimaced, but a grimace is not too terribly different from a smile. As he  
rocketed through the tunnels to the surface, Shinji whispered, "You took  
my parents away...you took my life away...I'm going to get you now."  
  
"What was that, Shinji?" asked a voice through the comm.  
  
"Nothing, Commander Ikari."  
  
"Shinji," broke in another voice. "Good luck."  
  
"Thank you, Misato-san."  
  
He finally reached the surface, with a jarring thud. He shook his head  
to clear it, then peered around. Lumbering into view was the now-  
regenerated Angel. An unholy grin alighted on his lips, and he chuckled  
softly.  
  
"You're mine. Oh, yes."  
  
End chapter one. 


	2. Fury's Wellspring

This assumes definite knowledge of the action and events of  
Evangelion. There are some elements of the manga within.  
  
************************************************  
An Oddzilla Productions Fanfic, by Andrew Huang  
Evangelion: Bitter Testament  
Based on Neon Genesis Evangelion, c. Gainax Studios and ADVision.  
************************************************  
  
Chapter 2: Fury's Wellspring  
  
EVA-01 stood in the middle of Tokyo-3, about 1000 meters from the  
Angel, now facing Shinji. The black giant squinted, almost curiously, at  
the purple giant.  
  
"Release the final safeties."  
  
Bolts in the frame that carried Unit 01 unlocked, causing the robot to  
sag slightly from the lack of support. "Now, Shinji. Just concentrate on  
walking."  
  
Shinji nodded, and imagined that the robot's body was his own. But for  
all his enthusiasm, he found controlling the EVA to be rather difficult.  
"Walk...."  
  
The robot took a step. It was like forcing a leg that had fallen asleep  
to move.  
  
"Walk...."  
  
"Shinji, how is it?"  
  
"It's hard. Dammit, I think I'm going to fall. Stop."  
  
The robot kept walking.  
  
"Stop."  
  
Step.  
  
"Stop, dammit!"  
  
"Shinji, what's--"  
  
"Fine. If you're going to be that way, then CHARGE!"  
  
Clumsily, but with definite power, the EVA leaned forward and began to  
run. "Ha! DIE!" Unfortunately, he paid little heed to his surroundings,  
and tripped headlong over a building, demolishing it in the process. The  
EVA bounced along, wrecking more structures, and skidded to a halt past  
the Angel. "Ah...damn...."  
  
"Shinji, watch out! Get up!" yelled Misato. The Angel now turned  
around, and grabbed the EVA by the head, lifting it up. With its other  
hand, it grabbed Unit 01's arm, and squeezed.  
  
"RRRGH! Get off, get off my arm, get off getoffgetoff--" The robot's  
left hand was clawing ineffectively at the Angel.  
  
"Shinji! That's not really your arm!" Misato flicked off the comm,  
muttering, "Damn it, his control isn't good enough--"  
  
*SNAP* "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"  
  
Maya called out, "Synchronization is dropping! Below forty...thirty-  
seven percent! Thirty-five!"  
  
"Pilot's blood pressure and pulse rate are going too high!"  
  
The Angel now proceeded to slam the EVA in the eye with the spike  
mounted in its arm. Shinji could only continue to howl in pain,  
clutching his own eye within the plug. The armor began to strain and  
crack.  
  
"Shinji, get out of the way! Just--just move!"  
  
The Evangelion made feeble efforts to disengage the Angel's grip. The  
pounding kept going, and suddenly, the spike sliced straight through the  
head of the robot, sending the Unit flying across the city, landing with a  
sickening crunch against a building. Blood-like fluid spouted from the  
wound.  
  
The control room was reduced to chaos. Shouts of, "Pilot monitors are  
down!" mingled with, "We have to get him out of there!" The technicians  
frantically tried to reset connections to the pilot plug and the rest of  
the EVA, attempting both to find out what was going on and perhaps get  
some control of Unit 01. Nothing happened.  
  
"That hurt," grated a voice, coldly. It sliced through the confusion in  
the control room, and brought everyone to a halt.  
  
"Shinji?" asked Misato.  
  
She was not answered.  
  
Instead, the roars of a robot filled a city.  
  
What followed next was less a battle and more a brutal thrashing. Both  
combatants were tossed around the city by punches, energy blasts, kicks,  
and body slams.  
  
It leapt straight at the Angel, spinning in midair to deliver a kick  
that sent it hurtling through the sky, smashing through some more  
buildings. Another pounce, this time to drive its fist into the Angel's  
face. And another attack, and another, and another.  
  
"Ever seen something that inspires a sense of wonder that overwhelms  
you, sweeps you along helplessly?" asked Ritsuko, who suddenly appeared at  
Misato's side.  
  
Crunch. Thud. Wham.  
  
"Yeah," answered Misato, faintly. "That's precisely what's happening  
right now, I'm sorry to say. It isn't the nice kind of wonder."  
  
The assault continued. Another kick sent the Angel flying backward into  
a building, which crumbled from the impact. Immediately, the Evangelion  
leaped on it and started beating on the Angel with its fists. The howl of  
unearthly fury that accompanied this sent shivers down Misato's spine. An  
involuntary glance around the control room showed that she wasn't alone in  
that.  
  
What happened next, though, she couldn't really recall until she watched  
a tape of the battle afterward, because it seemed somehow too surreal. It  
could only be described as this: somehow, the Angel managed to shove the  
Evangelion up and off, just long enough for it to jump up and wrap itself  
around the giant robot. And then, there was a flare of blinding light, and  
tremors that shook the entire Geofront.  
  
When the white-hot surge of energy finally faded, Misato picked herself  
up off the floor and staggered over to the monitors. At first, they were  
only filled with static, but after a few taps on the keyboard, alternate  
cameras came online, and showed a smoke-filled, blasted cityscape.  
  
"Angel...self-destructed," whispered Maya, through the earthquake sirens  
that had been set off by the explosion.  
  
"The EVA?" asked Misato.  
  
There was a dull, rhythmic thumping, and a large shape emerged through  
the smoke.  
  
"There's your answer."  
  
"...yeah. And, you know, I should feel happier about that than I  
actually do."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Shinji sat in the plug, breathing heavily, mind finally clearing of that  
red haze that had overtaken him. A speaker within the cockpit issued forth  
a stream of babbling. The people back in the control center, no doubt. It  
was easily ignored.  
  
He had done it. Or...had he? He vaguely remembered moving the grips of  
the controls and squeezing the triggers...but it had been almost as if the  
grips and triggers had been moving and squeezing _him_.  
  
No matter. It was dead. Very dead. One step in his quest of paying back  
these things for taking his life away from him. He smiled mirthlessly. It  
had only begun. He could feel the rage within himself, a righteous rage,  
ready to continue what had started today--  
  
Something caught his eye, to the right. He turned, seeing the reflection  
of his EVA in a mirror-surfaced skyscraper that had mostly escaped damage  
during the battle. The helmet of the EVA had fallen off, exposing its real  
head--a brownish, smooth structure. Where the right eye had been was now a  
burnt slash. But the slash began to quiver, and without warning, a green  
blob popped out. No, not a blob, an eye, regenerating from the remains of  
one that had been lost. The pupil formed and dilated, looking back.  
  
Looking back at him.  
  
Looking back into him.  
  
Into him....  
  
Into--  
  
Blackness, and a scream in his own voice.  
  
"What the--Shinji? SHINJI!"  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"What happened in there?"  
  
"Neural overload. Extreme emotional stress on the part of the pilot  
caused feedback."  
  
"Emotional stress _after_ the battle? He seemed to be doing fine after  
it was over."  
  
"I don't know myself. It's right here, though. Physiological reaction  
seem to indicate that he got really angry or something, somehow worked up  
before it happened."  
  
"Angry? But it's already over...."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Blink. "This is...where?"  
  
Shinji pulled himself upright and looked. This had to be a hospital  
room. The only other place that he had recently been in that was as coldly  
white as this was that room in the juvenile detention center where they  
had the psychological evaluation.  
  
My arm...why does it feel like it hurts? I don't...I don't remember.  
And why do I want to remember?  
  
His jumbled thoughts were cut off by someone opening the door. It was a  
nurse, wheeling in another bed. On it lay a pale, blue-haired girl, who  
stared sightlessly at the ceiling. Shinji worked his muddled brain for a  
few moments, as he struggled to sit up. "Looks like my mother...Ayanami...  
Rei?"  
  
The nurse glanced at him wordlessly, then placed the bed next to his and  
exited the room. Shinji decided to speak. "You are...the First."  
  
Slowly, Rei turned her head to look at him. "Yes."  
  
"A pilot, like me."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Shinji pondered this, and slowly smiled. "Good to meet a fellow  
pilot."  
  
Rei looked at him a moment, then asked, "Why do you say that?"  
  
This had him nonplussed for a moment. "Well...because...we're going to  
be fighting together, right?" He paused, and she nodded once. "So it's...I  
guess, it's good to meet you." He frowned, realizing how lame this sounded  
to his own ears.  
  
She continued to look at him, and he started to feel slightly  
uncomfortable. But before he could say anything else, she spoke instead.  
"I see. This gives us a chance to meet and interact in a noncombat  
situation, and hence, come to understand each other's character." A slight  
pause. "It is good to meet you, then."  
  
He stared at her, then chuckled, and said, "Yes...that's right."  
  
She nodded back once more, then turned her head to face the ceiling, and  
closed her eyes to rest. He watched her for a few moments longer, before  
lying back down.  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Misato pondered the day's events. "It would be convenient," the boy had  
said, when the offer was made to stay with her, instead of living alone.  
That response was somehow odd.... Yes, it would be convenient, of course--  
that was one of the reasons she thought of the idea. But there was  
something about the way he had said it, as if something as important as  
his permanent living arrangements here were just an afterthought. But  
then, this boy seemed to have a lot on his mind. He hadn't said anything  
since leaving NERV HQ, and not because he was shy. The look of intense  
concentration on his face had put off any conversation. But, one must ask,  
what exactly Shinji was thinking so hard about.  
  
The silence finally got to Misato, and she pulled over onto the  
roadside, getting out of the car. This roused Shinji out of his  
ponderings. "What are we doing?" He exited the car and walked next to  
Misato, standing next to the guardrail. He followed her gaze out over  
the landscape. "The city?"  
  
"Yes. Wait just a moment...there."  
  
Slowly, under the setting sun, the buildings of Tokyo-3 rose  
gracefully out of the ground. "There is the city that you helped  
protect. Beautiful, isn't it?"  
  
Shinji looked on in silence for a few moments longer, then shrugged.  
"Beautiful? I don't know," he said, still watching with a seemingly  
complete sense of detachedness. "It's not something I particularly care  
about. The city is safe, and that's what matters." He turned around and  
walked back to the car. Misato frowned. So much for trying to strike up  
some light conversation.  
  
"What is with that boy?"  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"Was there any particular reason you had Ayanami placed in the same room  
as Shinji?"  
  
"They would have to meet sooner or later. And this way, allowing him to  
see her in a state similar to his, having been injured as a pilot...makes  
him respect her. I want a determined pilot, eager to fight, but not a  
loose cannon who ignores his teammates."  
  
"Mmm. I see."  
  
"Anything else, Fuyutsuki."  
  
"How was the meeting with SEELE?"  
  
"As to be expected. Complaints about the cost of the damages, of course,  
but underneath, they seemed pleased. It _is_ working, after all."  
  
"And what about sending y--"  
  
"No. I am the Commander of NERV, he is a pilot for NERV, and that is  
all. Nothing more to it."  
  
"Gendou. You know I never liked this idea from the beginning."  
  
"I never thought you would."  
  
"I hope your lies do not catch up to you."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Shinji watched dispassionately as Misato slammed down her beer. "WAA-HA!  
Now this is the way to live!" She grinned at him, but was met only with  
silence. "Hey, Shinji. Why are you so quiet? It's disturbing."  
  
He shrugged with one shoulder. "Nothing to say."  
  
Misato was getting irritated. He hadn't even noticed the second  
refrigerator in the corner of the kitchen--or rather, she'd seen his eyes  
flicker over it without even a comment or the slightest hint of curiosity.   
"You've had nothing to say all day, but you're obviously thinking about  
something. What's going on in that head of yours?"  
  
"...the past."  
  
"All right, then, tell me about your past."  
  
"Haven't you read my file already?"  
  
"Humor me."  
  
Shinji tilted his head slightly, looking thoughtful. "All right.... My  
parents. I'll start with what I've read about my parents.... My father,  
Izaki Ginta, was killed in a flash flood that was the direct result of the  
Second Impact, the day after it happened. My mother, Izaki Arimi, never  
quite got over that. She attempted suicide a few times, before she found  
out she was pregnant with me.  
  
"She stopped trying to kill herself then, but according to statements  
from her friends who survived the Impact, she also stopped trying to live.  
She ate barely enough to keep the both of us alive. And once I was born,  
she stopped altogether. I guess she just gave up and died, then."  
  
Misato stared at him, a vague sense of horror building in her gut. His  
voice was calm, unwavering. Perhaps there was sorrow somewhere in it.  
Maybe. But she couldn't detect it.  
  
"I had no living relatives, and due to the trouble from the Impact, no  
one was really looking to adopt any children. My earliest memories was of  
the orphanage, the one that I was in for most my life...I think I was  
five, or so. There were hundreds of kids, like me, parents killed by the  
Impact--directly or indirectly.  
  
"It was...it was an existence. They cared for us adequately, as well as  
they could given the circumstances. We got enough to eat, we had warm  
beds. But none of us had families." He paused, and looked at Misato  
thoughtfully. "Some of the caretakers had families. I'd see them meet up  
with their spouses and children, and they would smile and hug each other."  
  
The calmness was a cold, deathly one, rimed with ice...and hollow.  
Hollow like the fang of a venomous snake. That was what it was. "I...I  
see," said Misato, slowly. Her eyes flickered downward, unable to hold his  
gaze now.  
  
There was some silence from Shinji, before he answered. "Yes, you would,  
wouldn't you? You lost your parents as well. Your father--"  
  
He was cut off by a sharp, indrawn breath. "You--you even know about  
_that_?" Misato hissed. "Good God, what the hell didn't you get your hands  
on?"  
  
He stared hard back at her. "Ah. This must not be something you like to  
talk about. Sorry."  
  
Misato was now gaping. "Nuh, no, it isn't," she said, very slowly. "I   
mean, it's...it's...but you, you can talk about what happened to you so   
easily?"  
  
Another one-shouldered shrug. "It's something that's with me all the   
time. I've learned to accept it. And it's what gives me my purpose."  
  
"To defeat the Angels."  
  
"Yes. To destroy them."  
  
He would have to say it like that, wouldn't he?  
  
"I see why Commander Ikari wanted you as a pilot."  
  
Shinji smiled. She drank more beer.  
  
"Misato-san?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"Oh. Of course. I'll make dinner, now."  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Deep down, Misato realized that she was a bad cook. Of course, this  
was quite deep down, and not anything that she would admit out loud.  
Everyone else just had tastes that were too narrow, of course. Ramen and  
curry were meant to go together.  
  
So she didn't know what to think, exactly, when she saw Shinji's face  
spasm with internalized pain when he started eating. He kept eating, and  
didn't say a word, and was really quite valiant in trying not to express  
anything. But she noticed it anyway, including the strangled quality to  
his voice when he said, "Thank you, Misato-san," when he was finished.  
  
She decided to take this in a good way. So to speak.  
  
"You didn't like it, did you?" Misato asked a bit peevishly.  
  
Shinji looked back at her stiffly. "It was fine."  
  
She stood up and pointed at him accusingly with an overdone flourish.  
"Admit it! You're just like everyone else. You also think it's bad, don't  
you?"  
  
Without even waiting for a response--which he wasn't likely to give, as  
he was all but gaping at her in total confusion--she whirled away,  
crossing her arms. "I don't understand. I've lived on this stuff for  
years, so it couldn't be bad. No one appreciates my culinary style. The  
mingling of flavors in an exquisite balance--"  
  
"...it was curry powder and instant beef stock--"  
  
"--painstakingly mixed! Yes. You're just like everyone else." She  
finished with an indignant sniff, then slyly glanced at him to see his  
reaction.  
  
He was staring, at a complete loss for words. "Mi...Mi...Misato-san?"  
  
She laughed. She laughed, and laughed, and laughed. "Finally! Cracked  
that cool exterior of yours! You know, you're kind of cute when you're not  
so damn serious."  
  
Too quickly, far too quickly, he had clamped down on his bewildered  
expression and set his face back into the usual lines of professional  
regard. "I'm a little tired, Misato-san. I'd best get some rest, after all  
that I've done today. Thank you for dinner. Good evening." He rose, bowed  
to her, and cleared his setting from the table, before disappearing out  
the door.  
  
But Misato could swear she saw him smile genuinely, if only for an  
instant. She was certain of it.  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
Paperwork, always with the paperwork. Misato rubbed her eyes, trying to  
keep the words in front of her in focus. Difficult, though, given the late  
hour and the simple fact that she just didn't want to do this anymore.  
Finally, she slumped back in her chair and threw her pen down in  
frustration.  
  
A moment later, she heard a scream from within the apartment.  
  
She jumped out of her chair, stumbling as she pushed it out of the way  
to get out through the door. It was Shinji's muffled voice through the  
walls, and it told her that something was wrong.  
  
Through the door, down the short hallway, through another door. "Shinji!  
What's wrong? A nightmare? Are you all right?"  
  
He was sitting up in bed, shivering, head held in his hands. He had  
screamed only that once, and now, was only breathing raggedly.  
Nevertheless, she was at his side in a moment, arm around his shoulders.  
  
"What is it, Shinji? It's all right, you can tell me."  
  
He continued to breathe hard, but the shivering slowed and stopped after  
a mere half minute. "I...I remember what I did today," he panted, finally.  
"In the EVA. What I did to the Angel."  
  
Misato nodded gravely. This wasn't uncommon--blanking out a traumatic  
experience just after the fact, and not remembering until later. "It's  
over now, Shinji. It's all right. Don't linger on it."  
  
He chuckled then, and that was one of the most chilling things she'd  
ever heard in her life.  
  
"But...I want to linger on it. I did well. I did really well, didn't I,  
Misato-san? Yes. But, of course, I could have done better. Hmm. You have  
video footage of the fight, right? I need to observe myself, see what I  
did right, what I did wrong...."  
  
Her heart sank. You wanted someone enthusiastic, willing to train,  
willing to do a good job. But this wasn't right. There was an edge. This  
wasn't enthusiasm, this was battlelust. The look on his face...the kind of  
smile she didn't like. Not like the one she saw after dinner--if she'd  
really seen it at all.  
  
"...crush the next Angel. Absolutely."  
  
No. It frightened her.  
  
End chapter two. 


End file.
